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Evan in Rock Creek (9.24.2019) – “The Dog Food Bandit”

by | Oct 22, 2019 | Season 1 | 1 comment

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ SERVICE STORY (Reviewed on Thumbtack) –

“I cannot say enough great things about Jake. Extremely professional and personal. He got right to work identifying the pest (rats). He identified where they were most likely getting in, set traps, and when he came back a week later it was total success (got’m!). He reset the traps again and let them sit for another week to make sure there were no more and after that, sealed up the entry points so we’re all good going forward.”

Produced for Evan E of Beaverton, Oregon on Sept. 9, 16, and 24th 2019

I am Wilderness Security Guide, the Environmental Control Operator for Storysold: Pest Control, and this service is my story –

Dear Evan, after a nice long read of your home territory I decided that the easy answer was the easy answer. Here’s the entry hole where the rat was getting through >

Near the entry hole I found a few “snack spot” piles of droppings leading towards the heater adjacent to the garage, where you reported the activity >

The top of the heater duct has a lot more droppings, because this is where the rat sat and ate his dog food after he raided your garage.

I would describe the entry point from the top of the duct into the garage as a “Tom-and-Jerry hole.” It’s clearly the runway >

Based on my powers of deduction and the signs I found, the scratching in your wall was the sounds of a rat nesting in insulation. The inaccessible parts of your crawlspace, which I can see (but not crawl into) have been targeted because rats like insulation to nest in.

The little voice in Jake’s head said, “Don’t worry. You can outrun them.”

The fact that the rats are active in the insulation could mean we’re dealing with a family of rats. Not sure yet. Time will tell.

In any case, my action plan is pretty straightforward. I believe I should do my trapping service roughly every week, until we know the rats have left your home…and then I’ll fix the vent and the hole in the garage. 

And that’s that. I’m excited to see how it plays out. I definitely feel like we have a good beginning…now all we need is for the rats to fall in my traps and sacrifice themselves for the good of your home.

CHAPTER 2: The First Follow Up Service

After a few words of hello, I suited up and popped down into your crawl to check my traps. As always, I was filled with a mixture of dread mixed with a little hope, but not too much. I’m not superstitious—not really—but I do believe too much hope and optimism can be contagious, and I’d hate for the rats to catch it…and fail to fall hopelessly into my traps. 

The traps next to the bandit hole in the garage were both tripped, and the dog food was missing. “Shit!” the bastard’s figured my traps. “Now I have to go back up there and tell Evan we lost this round…”

I turned around on my belly and low crawled to the traps I set in front of the insulation with signs of nesting. The rat had either (a) died in my trap and dragged it into the part of the crawlspace I couldn’t go, or (b) pushed it over the ledge because I failed to secure it properly. In any case, I still was not finding dead rats in traps.

“Alack!” I cried inside. “I better start thinking of good excuses…”

Then I crawled to the main entry point, the dryer vent, and saw that the rat had torn my bag block/marker to shreds.

“Great,” I sighed. “He breezed through my traps and escaped footloose and fancy free into the moonlight!”

Then I turned around, faced the traps I set between the hole and the dog food supply, and made eyes with one, very dead rat.

I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it. I was glad I got him. There’s nothing more wild and natural than engaging in the age-old dance of predator and prey. On that day, I was the hunter and that guy was my prey.  

CHAPTER 3: The Textbook 3 Service Finale

I didn’t know if there were more, so I reset my traps, added a few, and put a nice rat-sized pile of dog food next to my food supply trap.

Then I returned a week later after many pest control adventures.

This time, I was even a little hopeful. Nor did I feel dread. For some reason, I just knew it was a one rat job. In the crawl, all my traps were untouched, the marker was unmoved, and the pile of dog food was uneaten. Rats are sneaky, but not that sneaky. Evan’s home was clear!

My reward (the real gravy) was the privilege of popping back down into the crawl to redraw The Magic Territorial Line around Evan’s home with a sign of strength the rodents of Beaverton understand >

“Scratch all you like rat!” it says. “I hope you like the feel of cold steel!”

The photo doesn’t show it, but I experienced a 41 year old first that day. I wrapped that dryer duct with duct tape after I fitted it securely to its end that had been hanging by a wire.

“Eureka! I get it!” I smiled as I worked to wall off the garage hole behind the hot water heater with more steel and foam. “It’s not ‘duck’ tape. It’s ‘duct’ tape, because HVAC guys use it to fit ducts together!” 

Sorry rats, no more dog food for you!

THE END


The Dialogue

1 Comment

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