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The Wildlife Eviction and Exclusion Service 🐿🦝🦇🦨🕊  

COSTS (this is a start to finish price): $285 to evict and exclude from one entry hole, add $65 for each additional entry hole. The price per extra entry hole may increase depending on difficulty. 


THE CAST: Our Wildlife Eviction and Exclusion Service stars our environmental control operator Wilderness Security Guide and her wild creature friends the Western Gray squirrels, Eastern Gray squirrels, raccoons, skunks, bats, opossums, and yes even rats.  

BLURB: Wildlife eviction and exclusion is a best practice storyline about how we evict and exclude our wild creature friends instead of killing them. We don’t especially like squirrels, but we’ve learned over many years that trapping (just killing the bad guys) doesn’t work. It’s a wasteful myopic hack for failed environmental storylines in need of a proper editing. The key to ending bad relationships with our wild creature friends is eliminating shelter (exclusion), eliminating food sources, and working to make lasting changes in their behavior.

The Action of our eviction and exclusion service usually goes something like this…


THE SET UP SERVICE > I do a thorough inspection your and mark all the entry holes I find with bags. If I only find one or two entry holes I will begin the eviction process that day.

THE EXCLUSION SERVICE > I exclude (block) all the entry holes with strong materials like flashing and heavy mesh, and then I install a one way door (where they can leave, but not return) on the main entry hole. I will also put a squirrel snack on the inside of the door to encourage the numbskulls to use the door and leave…

THE MONITORING/ADJUSTMENT SERVICES > I will send you a few annoying texts asking about signs of activity inside. Squirrels are individuals. Some of them take to the plan right away, some of them make life difficult. For example, if they don’t like the door and shy away from it for whatever reason I will return and set live traps inside to evict them the hard way. At worse, I’ll simply remove the door and let them out, then try again.

THE FINAL EXCLUSION SERVICE > Once we wait a few weeks and we both feel confident that the squirrels have been evicted, I will return to remove the one way door and do the final exclusion work. Then I will set a zip locked bag of squirrel snack in the old nesting space to monitor for breaches.

THE END > And that’s it! So much easier than trapping and killing every squirrel in your neighborhood! And we leave your Homefront stronger/more resistant to infestation than we found it. In most cases, a lot stronger.

Wilderness Security Guide is more than a cartoon character drawn to support our Storysold brand. She’s one of The World Stage’s original Environmental Control Operators. When you see our human host’s eyes light up and we show you the main entry hole and tell you the story of your infestation, you’ve met our live action character Wilderness Security Guide.

Here’s a few photos of local Homefronts from Guide’s perspective:

Entry hole to the “foam cave” a squirrel made in someone’s attic >

< Entry highway (the dark spots on wood are from years of squirrels and rats passing through) >

< Entry holes under decks are so classic >


< The “front door” view of this squirrel’s home >



< We use one way excluder doors to evict wildlife instead of killing them > (Most generic pest control companies will trap and kill, and then trap and kill some more, until all the squirrels in the area are dead, and then maybe they’ll address the exclusion of the entry holes. The Trap and Kill Em’ All First Method is an unnecessary and expensive and often ineffective method of wildlife control) > 



< The one way excluder door we use for larger wildlife like skunks and raccoons >



< Often times the best “pesticide” is a bucket of concrete, a strip of metal flashing, and a tight fitting piece of expanded aluminum (this photo was taken by my homemaking hero Farmer Emily. We worked this service story together on our way to Date Night. We had a lot of fun!) >



< Gaps between the roof sheathing and gutter line is classic, especially in the newly remodeled homes in SE and NE Portland (the white metal flashing is our finished exclusion) >



< We trench and bury mesh around decks and sheds and other structures with shallow (or no) foundations to prevent the rats and mice from tunneling under >



< We successfully evicted this numskull and excluded the chimney he fell down! >