THE CAST: our licensed state of Oregon Wildlife Control Operator #100200 (aka Wilderness Security Guide), the Western Gray squirrels, Eastern Gray squirrels, raccoons, skunks, bats, opossums, starlings, and yes sometimes we do no-kill evictions for rats.  

 

THE BLURB: We don’t evict and exclude wildlife because we’re trying really hard to join the cool nature club. We evict and exclude wildlife because we’ve learned over many years that trapping (just killing the bad guys) doesn’t work. It’s a wasteful myopic hack that doesn’t make lasting changes our home’s environmental storylines. The key to ending bad relationships with our wild creature friends is eliminating shelter (exclusion), eliminating food sources, and doing the work needed to makes lasting changes in your territorial homefront. And we’ve learned that, when it comes to wildlife, evicting them from structures is usually easier and more effective than performing The Ancient Ritual Sacrifice for modern times where we trap animals and euthanize them in the hope that the gods will smile upon our blood offerings and tell the rest of the wilder creatures around your home to, please, not use the well worn entry holes with the welcome signs on them. 

 

COSTS: $225 for the Set Up Service; $65 – $85 for Follow Ups/Regular Wildlife Services (depending on how far you are from Boring, OR); plus the costs of securing entry holes with Exclusion Repairs, which can range $35 – $185+ depending on difficulties like tight crawlspaces, high ladder work, and creative exclusion art. Mesh barrier instillations around decks, sheds, and weak foundations are typically $85 per five feet, but can be more depending on obstacles like tree root systems and landscaping features.

 

The Action of our No Kill Wildlife Eviction/Exclusion Service usually goes something like this…

 

THE SET UP SERVICE > I do a thorough inspection of your territorial homefront and then I mark all the entry holes I find with markers like bags or tape for tracking purposes. If I only find one or two entry holes I may choose to begin the eviction process that day. This service also includes the writing of an action plan and proposal for the rest of the services. No home is the same and neither are our service stories! 

 

THE EXCLUSION SERVICE > If all the markers are still in place I will do all the repairs, excluding (blocking) all the entry holes with strong materials like metal flashing, cement, and heavy mesh. We offer a no foam turd guarantee! If one or more of the markers show signs of activity, I may install a one way door (where they can leave, but not return) on the main entry hole(s) and put a squirrel snack on the inside of the door to encourage the numbskulls to use the door and leave. Or use other eviction techniques. 

 

THE MONITORING/ADJUSTMENT SERVICES > In the weeks that follow, I will send you a few pesky texts asking about signs of activity inside. Squirrels are individuals. Some of them take to the plan right away, some of them make life difficult. For example, if they don’t like the door and shy away from it for whatever reason I will return and set live traps inside to evict them the hard way. At worse, I’ll simply wire open the one way door and let them out, then try again. I can evict mothers with litters, but it doesn’t always end well. If I discover this, I will often advise you to wait until her litter is weened and able to relocate to a neighboring tree where they should learn to build their homes.  

 

THE FINAL EXCLUSION SERVICE > Once we wait a few weeks and we both feel confident that the squirrels have been evicted, I will return to remove the one way door and do the final exclusion work. Then I will set a zip locked bag of squirrel snack in the old nesting space to monitor for breaches.

 

THE END > And that’s it! So much easier than trapping and killing every squirrel in your neighborhood! And we leave your Homefront stronger/more resistant to infestation than we found it. In most cases, a lot stronger.

 

Here’s our list of We Don’t Dos…

We don’t give free estimates because we need to do a proper inspection to know how infested you are (and how many holes need repairs) and that work is an essential/valuable part of the process, BUT we can do an inspection and write you an action plan for $125 – $165 if you want to know what to expect before we begin. Or if you simply want a read on the strength of your homefront. 

We don’t work with real estate agents and or homeowners who are experiencing a “sale’s emergency” and they aren’t contacting us because they’re looking for someone to end an infestation the right way. 

We don’t work with remote landlords who aren’t engaged in providing services to their paying customers/tenants.

We don’t perform regular on-going services for territorial homefronts that need normal, routine, general repairs in order to keep the wilderness out. Classic examples are: old roofs and soffits, rotting siding, open sewer entries that have been identified (by us) and need to be fixed by a plumber, and rotting decks that aren’t worth the money/time to secure with mesh barriers.   

 

Wilderness Security Guide is more than a cartoon character drawn to support our Storysold brand. She’s one of The World Stage’s original Environmental Control Operators. When you see our human host’s eyes light up and we show you the main entry hole and tell you the story of your infestation, you’ve met our live action character Wilderness Security Guide.

 

 

Here’s a few photos of local homefronts from Guide’s perspective:

< Entry highway (the dark spots on wood are from years of squirrels and rats passing through) >

< Entry holes under decks are so classic >

 

< The “front door” view of this squirrel’s home >

 

< We use one way excluder doors to evict wildlife instead of killing them > (Most generic pest control companies will trap and kill, and then trap and kill some more, until all the squirrels in the area are dead, and then maybe they’ll address the exclusion of the entry holes. The Trap and Kill Em’ All First Method is an unnecessary and expensive and often ineffective method of wildlife control) > 

 

< The one way excluder door we use for larger wildlife like skunks and raccoons >

    < Often times the best “pesticide” is a bucket of concrete, a strip of metal flashing, and a tight fitting piece of expanded aluminum (this photo was taken by my homemaking hero Farmer Emily. We worked this service story together on our way to Date Night. We had a lot of fun!) >     < Gaps between the roof sheathing and gutter line is classic, especially in the newly remodeled homes in SE and NE Portland (the white metal flashing is our finished exclusion) >     < We trench and bury mesh around decks and sheds and other structures with shallow (or no) foundations to prevent the rats and mice from tunneling under >