Welcome to The Earth Show humans. I’m Wilderness Security Guide the Environmental Control Operator for STORYSOLD: Pest Control. This service story’s about the time we met our ideal customer. Her name is Katherine, and she engaged her Homefront in ways we imagine all future human hosts will engage the wilder sides of The Earth Show…

< OUR FIRST EMAIL FROM KATHERINE > 

In 2020-2021, we had roof rats in our attic. They were pretty quiet and we kept putting off dealing with them. This fall I found that Norway rats have displaced our roof rats in the attic. It was time to act, so we sealed up some of their holes, but left two major ones open. We planned to then launch a big trapping campaign, and finally seal the remaining holes. However, before actually doing this, I got worried that because we don’t know what we’re doing, we’ll set the traps in the wrong places and the rats will get wise and will be much harder to catch. Additionally I am suspicious that there are more entry holes at ground level that we haven’t been able to find. We wanted to find someone (you!) to help us identify ALL of the entry holes, and to set traps in a more effective way than we could do.

But, if you really wanted to know ALL of our rat interactions:

Our house is pretty ideal for rats. When we moved in December 2019, the property was overgrown with ivy, cave-forming shrubs, and bushes touching the house. The house is from the 1920s with hollow, inaccessible soffits, wood has shifted, and there is a superb choice of rodent entry holes, especially in the soffits.

When we moved in, I explored our attic crawlspaces & found plenty of evidence of previous rodent habitation and attempts to control it by trapping and poison. This included two dessicated Norway rat corpses, a rat skeleton (Figure 1), greasy tunnels in insulation, abundant feces, gnawed bait blocks, and sprung traps (one already supplied with a dried rat). Per our 91 year old neighbor, who is an excellent neighborhood historian, people living at our house have had trouble with rats for decades. (I have the impression that he attributes this to a deep-seated flaw in our house.)

Hoping that all this was evidence of FORMER rodent activity, all we did was to limit where food is stored (no food in garage, only canned goods in basement). We gradually altered our landscaping by removing ivy, trimming low hanging shrubs, and cutting shrubs away from the house, although there are still plenty of places for rats to hide and climb. Occasionally, we would hear tiny sounds in the attic, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead rats…

One morning in spring 2020, we found our dog and cat sniffing intently at the gap under a bookshelf in the living room. Underneath, a roof rat was cowering (and also peeing). We cautiously scooped him into a box and drove him ten blocks away, where we deposited him on an ivy-covered bank behind a big box retailer next to a piece of fried chicken that we happened to find nearby. (We know that if you move a rat away from its territory it will probably die. But we wanted to “give the rat a chance”.) This happened yet again a month later. This time, the rat was hiding in a small gap under a door, also cornered by dog & cat and unable to push his way through to the other side. We figured that these rats had probably fallen through a perfectly round, 7” hole in the living room ceiling. Covering this hole appeared to dam the cascade of roof rats into our living space, but they continued to live in the attic (why would they leave?)

A Squirrel in the Soffit

That same spring, I started to hear loud grinding noises while sitting upstairs. After also hearing some running in the attic crawlspace, I entered to see a good-sized rodent staring beadily at me. The source of the gnawing was soon pinpointed to our fascia board next to the chimney, where a greasy hole exhibited fresh gnaw marks. I believe this was a long-standing rat hole and that the uproar in the crawlspace was caused by a mother squirrel, who had discovered the rats’ front door and was in the process of improving the entryway and filling the hole with camelia leaves. I began to remove the leaves, but stopped when I saw a movement towards the back. Not wanting to wall up baby squirrels, but wanting to fill the hole as soon as possible, I co-opted one of our security cameras to monitor the nest. The mother squirrel never returned. When I eventually came back to remove the nest, there was no evidence of baby squirrels (not even droppings). Did the rats eat them? Did the mother squirrel succeed in removing the babies without triggering the camera? Were they never there at all? In any case, the camera was christened RatCam and soon began to provide excellent footage of roof rats entering and leaving our attic. The camera’s night vision gave the illusion that their eyes were glowing balls of light. You might think that we would have then filled the hole, and we always meant to, but we planned to find and fill the other holes first, then set traps. We did fill some holes, but then… we stopped. To be honest, I think we put it off because we both felt badly for the roof rats, who never bothered us in any way. Every once in a while I would talk to them when I entered the crawlspace for one reason or another, warning them not to gnaw the electrical wiring. This year another squirrel tried to use the hole for a nest, but she quit after I removed some of her sticks and rubbed my hands around the hole. We don’t have the camera up anymore, so I don’t know who is using the hole, although I continue to check it for squirrels.

On a hot day in 2021, we found a young roof rat in distress (Figure 3) under our garden hose not far from a hole referred to as the Great South Rodent Gate. I imagine that the crawlspaces had reached heatstroke temperatures for rats. We considered relocating the rat away from our house, but it didn’t seem fair to kick a rat when it was down, so instead we put down some water and left. Later, the rat was gone, either recovered or eaten.

A New Rat in Town?

Then this summer, things started to change. I found a dead juvenile Norway rat in our berry patch and was also seeing more dead ones around the neighborhood. I assume that Norway rat settlers were on the move, looking to expand. Our roof rats were no match for them. In the early fall we began to hear grating and grinding noises in the walls (like a rat enlarging a hole in wood, perhaps), and periodic running in the attic crawlspace. A new rat was in town. On two occasions I was able to actually see the rats after hearing them running, close enough to recognize that they are Norway rats. The only times I have seen them is when I hear some kind of noise in the crawlspace, then go investigate. Whenever I go up just to check things out, no rats are to be seen (though they leave plenty of signs that they’re there). I’m wondering whether they only become incautious enough to allow themselves to be seen when there’s some kind of social upheaval to distract them from the need to hide. When they do see me, they don’t run unless I start to approach them. They just kind of hunker down and glare in a manner that seems pretty bold to me. But perhaps they imagine that if they hold still, I won’t notice them?

Figure 2: Representative photo of a squirrel on our roof.

Figure 3: The rat in question, dazed enough to allow close up photography.

They have been pretty good about not entering our living spaces, with the exception of a brief exploration of our basement. I knew where they were entering because there was a trail of insulation and rat feces, and because I saw one for just a second whisking back into the hole. We covered those entries with hardware cloth, swept the corners of rat feces, and I haven’t seen any sign of further basement visits.

We know it’s just a matter of time before they figure out a way into the kitchen, or set a fire by gnawing the electrical wiring. We have begun covering possible holes, but really want your help identifying more holes… and setting the traps in the best places. So, we are glad you can come!

< END OF THE FIRST EMAIL > 

My initial set up service was fun. I enjoy conversing with homeowners who take an active interest in the wilderness security of their Homefronts, but “interest” doesn’t begin to describe her wilder side loving character. From the onset, I could tell she was engaged (an active participant) in the drawing and maintaining of her Homefront. She asked if she could JOIN ME IN THE ATTIC SPACE to set traps. She CLIMBED ON THE ROOF WITH ME to inspect the entry holes.

“What kind of wilder loving character does shit like this?” I thought to myself as we engaged The Action of her Homefront. “Certainly no homeowner I’ve ever met.”

“Let me guess,” I hedged as we climbed on the roof. “You’re some sort of scientist.”

Katherine smiled as she crouched down to inspect the gutter line mere inches from the edge. In an easy manor, she confirmed my suspicion that she was indeed a scientist. As we explored and make discoveries, we conversed (as scientifically as I was able to muster) about the borderland between wilderness and civilization we call home. I was wonderful (very refreshing) to talk aloud with another human about subjects I care about deeply but don’t often have anyone to converse with.

These days humans like to talk a lot about being different and often feel compelled to tell other humans why they believe they’re special, but I’ve discovered that the human who shows other humans the unusual character(s) they’re hosting, instead of merely telling, feels truly special. It’s like finding a unicorn in a herd of horses with paper horns that blow away at the first call for action. Katherine’s willingness to explore her own rat infested attic was one of those special unicorn finding moments. I meet humans who host characters who love The Rats of NIMH (and own bookshelves full of books about the wilderness), but shy away from the rats in their own attics. In general, exploring attic and crawlspaces (especially infested ones) is one of those across the board gender neutral universal fears. So much so, I remember most of my encounters with such humans. My former helper (former Full Cellar Farmer) Llew hosted a similar character. I’ve also had a few kids follow me into crawlspaces as well, which is interesting for a number of reasons. Long ago, The Pied Piper story was originally about children disappearing into the wilderness. The rats only became part of that story centuries later. I think our children are born wilder. It’s only until we expose our children to Disney and the generic stories we tell them about The Earth Show in the maddening void of classrooms do they learn to fear the world around them. It takes effort for me to relate to that fear, because I engage rats in the super real of The Earth Show almost every day. I find it bizarre (and mildly schizophrenic) that most humans host a hundred and ten generic stories about rats which they’ve adopted as the truth from their engagements with The Fourth Wall of books, school, and culture, but most humans can’t say much about the wilder encounters they’ve had with the rats that live almost everywhere in their neighborhoods. The learning process seems sort of backwards there.

But yeah, whatever. That’s situation normal for the civilized side of The Earth Show, and it’s a lot to ask any human to leave the insular comforts of civilization. That’s why, at the end of the first service I didn’t assume anything about Katherine’s wilder character. I asked her, like I ask most of my customers, what her preferred level of participation was in regard to the checking and very likely the clearing of dead rats from traps. Not surprisingly, she was game.

“I love your spirit,” I smiled as we parted. “You’re going to earn your Jr. Rat Catcher Badge by the end of this for sure.”

SOON AFTER I RECEIVED AN EMAIL FROM KATHERINE > 

KATHERINE: No activity until 9:30 last night.  From below your trap buffet I heard a soft clatter.  In the attic, one trap had been tripped and flipped over.  No other bait appears touched, except that one of the free peanuts I placed in the insulation has been moved to a different spot. We will reset the trap and keep you informed of any further developments. Thank you so much for the list of rat songs!  Musicians across the world agree, there can never be too many songs about rats.

STORYSOLD: Prediction: you will catch a young rat in one of the traps in the next 24 hours.

Yeah I was wrong about that one.

I CHECKED IN AGAIN A FEW WEEKS LATER > 

STORYSOLD: Just curious. Have you had any more tripped traps, or catches since your last email?

KATHERINE: No, we haven’t heard a peep out of the rats, nor seen any signs.  They have not touched a single trap nor have they been moving any of the free rat treats that were laid out.  I would strongly feel that all of the rats were gone, were it not for that one tripped trap.  I’ve been asking myself whether because the trigger mechanism is so sensitive, would it be possible for the trap to snap spontaneously?  Alternatively, it so alarmed the rat that the poor animal simply vanished in a puff of orange smoke. Shall we leave the traps a bit longer?  Or might you need them back soon, perhaps?  (I keep forgetting to mention that we also have a jar of your top secret rat mix, which you left in the crawlspace. Thanks for checking in, and have a nice evening,

That report of no activity was the confirmation I needed to schedule the exclusion service, which went smoothly. I busted out the ladder and secured the four entry holes that had been leading squirrels and rats into Katherine’s attic using metal flashing.

SOON AFTER THE EXCLUSION SERVICE WE RECEIVED THIS EMAIL>

KATHERINE: I just saw this rat eating from our rat feeder, I mean bird feeder, in broad daylight, at 11:21 AM (see attached).  It was not particularly reluctant to leave when I came out.  

A while later, it returned.  I was able to film it eating from about 8 feet away.  I tried to get closer and it ran into the back yard.

Do you think this is weird behavior?  And this time it’s a Norway rat, right?

STORYSOLD: Great shots! I’m not surprised you saw him in broad daylight with that spread. Lucky rat for sure. Still hard to say about the identification. The black rats longer tail, bigger ears, and pointier nose are the main distinguishing characteristics that separate the species.

Quietly I was feeling pleased with myself. Katherine hadn’t discovered any signs of activity in her Homefront, yet there were clearly rats outside. If that’s not a testament to the effectiveness of a quality exclusion service, I don’t know what is.

A FEW WEEKS AFTER THAT > 

KATHERINE: Check out Cedric (the rat).

He is on our porch roof, just trying to get out of the heavy rain last night (or so he said).  However, I see that he has pulled out a couple of pieces of roofing underlayment.

So I finally admit it’s time to alter our bird feeder arrangement…

So do you mind if we keep having your traps in our attic for a bit longer?  (Do you want to charge us a little money for keeping them so long?  I don’t know how many you have so please let us know when it’s time to give them back.)

STORYSOLD: That’s amazing! I’m constantly amazed how resourceful rats are.

KATHERINE: How did he know where to find that spot?

STORYSOLD: I guess it was close to the bird feeder. And yes, absolutely feel free to use the traps as long as you need them. My biggest worry is the same as yours. I want to make sure your home is secure.

KATHERINE: Thank you so much for your help!  It is much appreciated.

In The End, I was proud to award Katherine with a Jr. Rat Catcher Badge. The only other human I’ve considered for this esteemed title is Llew, but Llew went a step further. As I read it, Llew became “Rat Catcher Llew” in the time they worked with me.

Naturally this award doesn’t come with a real badge, or money, or some other trite trapping of civilization. What it mean is, I recognize and celebrate Katherine’s wilder character. And it think it would be great is you humans, who also play your parts in The Earth Show, recognize and celebrate Katherine’s (and Llew’s) wilder characters too.

If you’re inspired by Katherine’s service story, you can recognize and celebrate her earning of the Jr. Rat Catcher’s Badge by owning her actions as your own:

As I read it, Katherine earned her Jr. Rat Catcher’s Badge by:

A: KNOWING (AND WRITING ABOUT) THE WILDER SIDES OF HER HOMEFRONT

B: ENGAGING HER WILD CREATURE FRIENDS IN THE SUPER REAL OF THE EARTH SHOW THAT EXISTS BEYOND THE FOURTH WALL OF CIVILIZATION, MEETING THEM WHERE THEY’RE AT INSTEAD OF SEEING THEM THROUGH THE LENS OF DISNEY ANTHROPOMORPHISM. 

C: OVERCOMING THE CLASSIC FEAR OF RATS 

D: WORKING TO SECURE HER HOMEFRONT, MAINTAIN GOOD TERRITORIAL BOUNDARIES, AND THUS KEEPING HER HOME SAFE FOR HER WILD CREATURE FRIENDS

C: MAKING A MIX CD OF HER FAVORITE SONGS ABOUT RATS 

Thanks for the adventure Katherine! I will be knocking at your door with the zombie apocalypse hits and the rat hoards begin sweeping through our streets!