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The Home Infesting Bug Hunts, starring The Pest Predator



Customers laugh when we tell them we hunt bugs. We’d laugh too, but that response is a sad testament to the state of The Pest Control Industry. The literature in every book about ending bug infestations says the best practice is to inspect (hunt) and find the source of the infestation before applying pesticides. Yet almost every generic pest control company you can hire still sells reoccurring applications of pesticides, usually selling the pesticides as “green” claiming that the neurotoxin pyrethrins (synthesized chrysanthemum) they’re hosing your home down with are natural and safe for babies and pets. No matter what they say, there is no way to apply a pesticide in advance that protects your home like a barrier (or an eco-shield), prevents infestation, and or kills a pest before it’s present.

It’s amazing when you think about it. The Industry has successfully sold millions of humans on the idea of “preventative maintenance,” claiming that they can kill and or repel bugs before they are there. If magic still exists in our modern world, this is it.

Each of our bug hunts have their signature service storylines, but the goal of all our bug hunts is to end The Infestation (however you define that for your Homefront) and that process follows a classic narrative arch that has a beginning, middle, and an end. The length of your personal service storyline will depend on the size and strength of your infestation. Typically our odorous house ant hunts require 1-2 hunts per season (usually only one), heavy carpenter ant hunt infestations can require 2-3 hunts per season and another hunt the following season to ensure full elimination, and our bedbug hunts typically require 2-5 hunts to reach The End. A new roach infestation can be knocked out in one service fairly easily, but a heavy infestation (especially in an apartment building that’s infested) can limp along for a long time.

COSTS: $125 – $165 for initial bug hunt, $65-$85 for follow ups depending on how close you live to Gresham, Oregon 

We don’t apply synthetic pesticides for non-infesting pests, especially beneficial predators like spiders, beetles, and centipedes, but we do offer thorough “culleans” for small flies (especially in restaurants) and spiders. We also don’t apply pesticides for non-infesting bugs that enter your home, become trapped, and die on their own like box elder bugs. Oh and we also don’t apply pesticides for panty/clothing moth infestations, because The Infestation won’t end until the breeding sites are identified and removed from your home. In any case, we’re happy to inspect The Action and work with you to write an action plan for ending whatever engagement you’re having with the urban wilderness. Selling you a reoccurring service is not a plan.

< The Pest Predator in action >

Here’s what a house ant infestation looks like when you find the nest. These guys were living under the insulation:

Here’s what I mean when Predator says, “Ring around the bait means it’s working.” That will have an effect for sure!


Cynthia in SE Portland (8.23.2019) – “A Bug Hunter is Born”

Cynthia in SE Portland (8.23.2019) – “A Bug Hunter is Born”

Produced on August 23, 2019

by Cynthia L.

Long before the time of humans, the cities of earth were built and ruled by tiny creatures now commonly known as “bugs.”    

Like the bugs of today, the old bugs thrived wherever they found heat, water, earth, and decay. But there was a difference. The old bugs were at the top of the food chain. They had no fear of extermination, because they were a lot bigger than their amoebic neighbors.  

Then something very bad happened. The bugs became hooked on sports like “bugsaball,” which fooled the bugs into believing that their mass city swarms were alive; like the city itself had an identity.  

As it goes, “They faked it, until they made it…” and after millions of years the fiction of these living cities finally sprang to life like Pinocchio. 

And multi-cellular organisms were born. 

The old bugs were OK with controllable city creatures like lizards, fish, and chickens, but they were horrified their cities began to form humans. 

Humans labeled as “pests,” because they were too big and too smart to be controlled. In an act of desperation, the old bugs developed a warrior class dedicated to the hunting and killing of humans. 

We now call those blood-sucking warriors “bedbugs.” 

For thousands of years (before humans gained the power of memory) these blood-sucking warriors exterminated humans by the millions. Our bodies still remember the carnage the bedbugs inflicted on us. That fear is now embodied in the character of the vampire.  

In spite of their size, the bedbugs of old were able to hunt and kill humans for one reason. They had a special weapon. They used a magic spell, which translates roughly as “EEOeueTUtu8” when spoken aloud. When the spell was cast, the bedbug warriors were made “invisible” to humans. There is no better word to describe it really. The spell cloaked the bedbugs from the perception of humans. 

Of course, we now this spell simply as “sleeping,” but that was a long time ago and “sleeping” was more mysterious then.  

Bedbugs would have ruled the earth forever if it weren’t for a brave woman warrior (with a strange love for the bugs) who discovered how to track and hunt the bugs that were made to hunt her. 

Her name was unpronounceable in English. The sound translates roughly as “4.9.” And she was a badass. 

She tracked the old human hunters by: 

(1) checking her bedding for spotting, little black dots in a cluster

(2) looking for moltings, or the skins the bugs shed five times (one after every full meal) as they moved in life from egg to adulthood. 

(3) using her stupid brother’s fire stick to check her bedding. 

And most importantly, Badass 4.9 learned to harness her imagination to see beyond the spell. She could feel them when they were close, and she learned to overturn the rocks and dig behind the roots near her bed. 

Once the humans realized that the bedbugs didn’t vanish into some other dimension and become invisible when they hid, crawling out of sight and mind during the active daytime hours, the bugs didn’t have a chance. 

The humans began to hunt and destroy the bugs that hunted them, and the byproduct of the hunt was the strange, reflective experience we know call “consciousness.” 

And that’s how it happened. If it weren’t for the first exterminator, Badass 4.9, the bugs would still be sucking us dry. 

My name is Jake. I’m a bedbug destroyer, and I’m telling this story today for a specific reason. A woman called me to inspect her home for the Old Human Hunters the other day. As I inspected, I discovered that she was an artist and a real deal “unicorn” local. She knew a lot about the city and had interesting stories to share, but the conversation I enjoyed the most was our nice, long chat about bedbugs. 

She really knew her stuff. She had a bed with almost no cracks, and the cracks that her bed did have were either taped or sealed. Her box spring and mattress had covers and she was using the same brand of climb ups I use in the field. And she’d done her homework. She knew our old enemy the bedbug well. Overall I felt like I was talking shop with a pro. 

I didn’t find any signs of bedbug activity that day, but I did find something very special. I found a new talent, a fellow human with the potential to be a great Bug Hunter and Destroyer someday. 

I could be wrong…but I don’t think I am. Someday, when humans finally emerge from the dark age of shame and fear based pest control, we will celebrate the efforts of hunters like Cynthia. 

After all, the only thing the blood suckers need to rise to power again is for good people to fall asleep…and pretend the threat isn’t real. There are tiny monsters that bite under our bed, and humans need to remain vigilant and fight them. The fate of the world depends on it.